Moving On

Hello all, and my apologies for not keeping you abreast of the developments of my life.  I am quite certain that there is an element of suspense for all of you regarding my every move so I do regret any consternation I have caused. That said it was nearly impossible to manage my shit at all much less chronicle any aspect of it for entertainment value (or even for historical documentation). I cannot overemphasize how not managed my shit has been.

Last May I finished with the Schooling, the never ending quest to finish the Shit I Started. Filled with regret and pain, I received a doctorate in Nursing Practice. Which no one really understands, but I do so that’s all that matters. During this last year, I took on teaching responsibilities at the University, which was awesome initially. I taught nursing skills in the fake hospital unit of the nursing building, spreading wisdom all over terrified new nursing students. They learned the fuck out of peri care, let me tell you. And so help me god, if they violated sterile technique while placing a catheter into a fake mannequin urethra, they did not pass. I was Gandalf, contaminated students were the Balrog. Just for the bridge scene though because I neither smote them nor did they lasso me with fire tentacles.

So that was awesome, the teaching. I was planning to do the same thing for spring semester, but two weeks before it began my advisor called me to see if I would teach a clinical section. At Children’s. On a surgical/urological/burns unit. Well sure, I said outwardly. Inwardly I said fuck. So for my final semester of grad school, which involved dissertation most horrible, I took on a near-full-time clinical teaching position in an unfamiliar unit. Let me just say that one aspect of my personality includes not always recognizing the extent of potential challenges in proportion to my own personal resources. This is directly related to another aspect of my personality, the most extreme force of will known to mankind. If I will it, so it will be. Therefore I do not so much gauge the potential mismatch of difficulty to available inputs, instead relying upon my historical tendency to DO THE THINGS AS I WANT TO. So I did the things. As it turned out, it was a fantastically fun, stressful, and successful teaching semester and I did graduate so there. Not without consequence, that’s not what I’m saying. What I’m saying is that I’m very, very good at allocating limited resources. For 2017’s first half these resources were not allocated to housework, or relationship building, or opening mail. Or anything else that was not due, bleeding, or immediately demanding of my attention. Like I said, consequences. At any rate no one died and overall the house was not condemned so it’s a win I say, and if anyone cares to argue that they can do so while helping me fold 6 months worth of laundry.

So throughout this final year of school I had many decisions to make regarding the future. I interviewed for a critical care fellowship, then decided it was not what I wanted. I took an extra class in pediatric acute care, thinking that was a possibility and planning to continue on with that specialization in the fall. Then I interviewed quite seriously for multiple NP positions, one of which was inpatient pediatric pulmonary. So I figured forget the specialization if I can get the jobs I want without it. As it turned out I did not get that job (in spite of clear statements from the chief that I was the first choice so that was both disappointing and confusing), but I did get the probably ideal perfect job and will be starting that soon. Trauma surgery team, good trauma center, 7 minutes from my house. Clues that it was just right: the first patient we saw was a guy who had stabbed himself multiple times. That’s my jam–stabs plus a little unhinged. Also, the trauma team has a diabolical sense of humor, while being lovely and compassionate. There was lots of fast walking and ER time, so good combo of ER excitement plus recovery connection and support plus just all around awesomeness and wound care too. The NPs on this team are badass so I’ll be the dumb one for quite a while but I’m ok with that.

Anyway, I’m starting teaching this week (one day a week) which I will continue for this semester and then reevaluate. New job starts soon so I’m trying to engage in recovery efforts house-wise, personhood wise, and parent wise. Mostly I’m cooking a lot, cleaning a lot, organizing, and generally reclaiming my soul from the depths of hell aka grad school. I’ll let you all know how that goes.